Couples Therapy San Diego, CA

Like anything else, with couples therapy, you get out what you put in. Does therapy provide effective and evidence-based techniques that improve connection and communication? Absolutely! But, your therapist won’t be there between sessions to make sure you use what you’ve learned when needed most. Couples often find immediate improvement because they’ve learned techniques that they didn’t know before. That excitement can be very motivating and euphoric, and result in the most important element of couples counseling and therapy; consistency. However, a difficult conflict can easily send you both back to old patterns if you let it, and that’s when the difference is made. So, the real question is, can couples counseling and therapy work when both partners are consistent? The answer is yes. And it can work for you too…

In my opinion, couples counseling and therapy does not make things worse. However, what therapy does do is provide the necessary techniques and opportunities for improved communication and emotional awareness. This distinction is important because as communication and emotional awareness improve, couples can find themselves finally talking about the real reason for their struggles. So a couple who rarely argues – but has been needing to – may notice an increased frequency in relational discord, or have a new truth be unearthed, and lead them to believe that treatment ‘made things worse’. The truth is, however, that the couple is finally facing what they came to therapy for in the first place. A couples therapist can help navigate treading new waters and provide the necessary support to hold space and promote growth for the couple, as well as the individuals themselves. It’s always darkest before dawn. If we never forget that dawn is coming, we’ll always remember that the darkness is just a phase.

No. Going to therapy is brave, and takes strength. Remember, bravery is not the absence of fear, but the action taken in spite of it. Seeing a couples therapist also sends each partner the message that the relationship is important, and worth every effort. In truth, couples counseling is good for anything from “it’s really bad and we don’t know what to do” to “it’s really good, but we want to make sure to keep them that way”. In fact, couples that seek therapy often do so because they still have hope that the relationship can work with enough effort and assistance. On the other hand, the “really bad relationships” typically perceive therapy as a waste of time and money because they have little or no hope of repairing the relationship. So, ironically, therapy is often not utilized by the couples that may need it most. When you get down to it, no one knows everything, and everyone needs help sometimes. So, if you want to improve your relationship, or just make sure it stays as good as it is, seeing a couples therapist can help. Simple as that.

In all honesty, no one can answer that better than you. Just ask yourself:

• How successful are you in resolving conflicts without assistance?
• Are things good, but not as good as they could be or once were?
• Do you want to learn the necessary skills for having an honest and fulfilling relationship?
• Are there things in your relationship that could cause your relationship to end if not properly attended to?

More often than not, couples wait until things are at a breaking point and nothing they’ve tried has worked. A couple that feels that way long enough can develop a sense of hopelessness that feels inescapable, and decide that the best course of action is to break up. Truth is, not all relationships can last. However, so many relationships that really could have worked end because they lack the tools to succeed. Couples counselor and therapist can help prevent and repair conflicts that harm relationships and provide the communication, friendship and intimacy necessary for a satisfying relationship.

Yes! Couples counseling and therapy is not only helpful to couples, but individuals; regardless of whether they are in a relationship at the time or not. In actuality, couples counseling and therapy is a type of relationship counseling and therapy; which focuses on patterns of individuals in their respective relationships with others. So, whether you’re an individual seeking help for your current relationship, getting out of your own way in relationships, grieving a lost relationship, or your platonic or familial relationship(s), therapy can help. Therapy helps each partner improve communication and understanding in their relationship, as well as within themselves. So, no, you don’t need to be in a relationship to have couples therapy. You just have to want to improve the relationships in your life.